A Weasel Christmas Carol
by SunGlassWolf13
Summary: It seems that even the Toon Patrol is celebrating the holidays! Except for Wheezy. Now his selfishness ends up putting Smart Ass's life in danger! Can the Spirits of Christmas teach Wheezy a lesson in this retelling of the classic story? I OWN NOTHING!This is my second One Shot AND my present to the readers, enjoy and Farewell Matt Smith.


_**Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, or just Happy Holidays Readers**_

_**Consider this my gift to you**_

_**Hope you Enjoy**_

_**And yes, I am listening to Christmas music while making this**_

_**This, in no way, affects the, Before the Case, universe because this is a different universe.**_

_**SunGlassWolf13/Jared Kerr**_

The Weasel's Christmas

By Jared Kerr

Toontown was covered in snow. I took one look out the window and yawned, taking a sip of my coffee. Suddenly, there was some shouting on the roof and Greasy fell. He grunted as he hit the snow. I opened the door, "Err…..you alright dere Greasy?" He got up, shaking some snow off his muzzle, "Of course boss! I was just putting up de lights on de roof!" I raised my eyebrow, "At six o' clock in da morning?" He walked inside and I shut the door, "Well boss, it is Christmas! I am only trying to spruce up the headquarters!" Inside, I heard hammering. I turned my head and saw Stupid and Psycho. Both of them were hanging up stockings. They put it in the order of, Me, Greasy, Wheezy, Psycho, and finally Stupid. Psycho giggled and walked off, Stupid clapped his hands rapidly, "Oh boy, I love Christmas." He trotted away, laughing dumbly. I sighed, setting my empty mug down, "Well….I thinks I should head to get da tree. Wheezy, you wanna come with?" I noticed the Blue weasel was coming down the stairs. He swapped cigarettes, "Why not *Cough* I have been doing nothing for the last few days." I yawned and stretched, grabbing my hat from the rack and putting it on. While Weasy went to get dressed, I went into the garage.

I took out a saw from the tool rack. It shouted at me, "Oi! It's so bloody cold! I can't feel me fecking handles!" I shook my head, "That's your problem, pal." It frowned, "You damn weasel! Could you have the decency to put a coat on me?" I rolled my eyes and tossed it in the back of the van, shutting the doors. I put my revolver into my jacket and waited for Wheezy with the keys. He got into the driver's and I got into the passengers. We drove down the snow-covered street. I flipped on the siren so Toons would get out of the way. Children were playing, Parents and Adults were exchanging stories and eggnog, and everyone seemed to be happy. Everyone, except for Wheezy, who kept a frown plastered on his face no matter what. He was smoking and keeping focus on the road. I smirked and slugged him in the shoulder, "Come on William, its da holidays! You should be happy!" He rolled his eyes, "Haven't *Cough* called me that in a while." I shrugged, "This is serious, so I addressed you by your real name."  
He turned to me, "What's so serious? *Hack, Cough* I'm just not into the holidays, that's all." I looked at him, slightly agitated, "You're lucky you're driving, or I would have slapped ya into next week, no one can hate the holidays, not even you!" He turned to me, raising his voice, "Perhaps you have forgotten that I never had a family to celebrate Christmas with."

I snarled, "Don't talk to me like that, Wheezy, you're forgetting your boss has a gun that is loaded with dip!" Wheezy stuck his face right in mine, "AND I HAVE A TEMPER THAT IS ONE THOSANDS TIME BETTER THAN THE DIP!" He suddenly laid on the breaks, and I was sent flying into the glove compartment. I got out, "What da hell was dat for?" He growled, you can go ahead and get the tree, I am sorry I ever came." He opened the door and walked, wrapping his arms around himself. I growled and got into the driver's seat. I pushed on the gas, starting back off into the town, going to the forest.

(Wheezy's POV)

I got home and growled, sitting in one of the chairs. I took out my lighter and was going to light my cigarette, when I saw the stocking on the wall, with my name on it. I growled and walked up to it, setting it on fire. I watched as it burnt up, smirking. As the ash hit the floor, I turned around to head back to my chair. Suddenly I heard sniffling and I turned to the stairs. Stupid and Physco were looking around the corner. Physco looked mad, and not very happy that this happened. Stupid's eyes were full of tears and he ran off, balling, because it took him forever to make them. Physco growled at me and followed the sobbing Stupid upstairs. I rolled me eyes and leaned back in my seat, falling asleep. I woke up to a coughing fit. I yawned and muttered to myself, "Damn…..what *Cough* time is it?" I checked the clock, midnight. I rubbed my bloodshot eyes, "Have I slept for THAT long?" I yawned and stretched, getting up. As I got to the kitchen and splashed some water into my face, I heard clanging, like chains.

I quickly grabbed my Tommy gun and I loaded it. I went into the living room, biting down hard on my cigarette. Suddenly I heard a voice, "Wheezy…Wheezy….." I put my finger over the trigger and snarled, "WHO ARE YOU?" Suddenly, out of the door, a blue figure appeared. I shot at it, closing my eyes. "STOP GOD DAMMIT!" I opened an eye and saw the blue figure looked like Smart Ass. He was covered in leafs and branches sticking out of his body. He was also covered in chains. The cigarette dropped from my mouth, "B…Boss?!" He nodded, "Yes ya mug, I am da ghost of Smart Ass from the future and I wish to warn you about what is coming." I sat down, shivering. "Why are you haunting me? You're not even real! You must be from those Cuban cigarettes I had." He growled and swung his chains, wrapping around my body and pulling me closer. "Listen Wheezy, for da sake of your soul, tonight, you will be visited by three ghosts. Each more terrifying than da last, each on a quest tah teach you the true meaning of Christmas!" I hid behind the chair and gulped. The ghost flew up in the air, "BE WARNED WILLAIM, BE WARNED!" And with that, the ghost flew off, going through the window.

I shivered, but then let out a hacking laugh. "Ghosts, huh? *Hack* I am not afraid of ghosts!" I laid back down in my chair and popped a cigarette into my jaws. I leaned back into my chair and sighed. "*Cough* they ain't coming anyways, I was just hallucinating, that's all." I rolled over in my chair and shut my eyes. Moments later, I heard some rumbling. I woke up and got my gun out. I heard the rumbling from the chimney. I aimed my gun at it and smirked, putting my finger over the trigger. Suddenly something bright shot out of it faster than I could say, "HOLY SHIT!" It slammed into me and I was sent flying into the couch. I got up and looked at the figure, it was Stupid! The fat weasel stood there, brighter than the sun! He had a halo with a propeller on top. He smiled dumbly and chuckled, "I am the Ghost of Christmas…duh…Christmas…." I rolled my eyes, "Christmas Past?" He smiled, "Yep, dats it!"

I shoved my way past him, sitting down in my chair, "Listen *Cough, Cough* slush for brains, I know you're doing your job and all, but if I pay you extra, will you let me sleep in *Hack* peace." The fat ghost shook his head, "Nope! I will be taking you back to your childhood and see why you have such a hate for Christmas!" He held out his robe in his hands and smiled, "Take my robe and we can begin!" I shook my head, taking another cigarette and sticking it in my mouth, "Thanks but no thanks ghosty." The ghost sighed, shaking his head, "Well….I thought this might happen….so I brought Plan B!" I raised an eyebrow, looking back to him, "What's *Hack, Cough* Plan B?" He ran over to me and took out some dust, throwing it in my face. I dropped my cigarette in surprise and fell backwards, knocking my chair over. I suddenly passed out, waking up in a mere 3 seconds. I yawned, looking down, seeing I was floating above the ground.

My eyes bulged out comically (with a taxi horn, of course), and I hung on tightly to the ghost. "SO THIS WAS PLAN B? KIDNAPPING ME?" The overweight ghost shook his head, "You wouldn't come peacefully, so I had to force ya!" I frowned and looked away, "Let's just get this over with so I can go home." I flew with the spirit over the snow covered landscapes of Toontown. I tried to put in a cigarette and enjoy the view, but we were flying so fast it fell outta my hands. Suddenly there was a clang. The ghost slammed into a pole and let go of me, causing me to fly forward and smack into a warehouse window. I slid down it and hit the snow, groaning in pain. The ghost flew over and picked me up; he then proceeded to straighten me out as if I was a sheet. I shook my head and spit out some snow. "What the hell? Where are we?" The ghost chuckled dumbly and pointed to the window, "We are in your pants!" I raised an eyebrow, "My what? You mean my past?" The fat ghost nodded, "Yep, that's what I said!" I rolled my eyes and looked into the window.

Inside was a family of five weasels, they were gathered around a small fire. There were two adults and three children. The oldest child, it was faint, but I could recognize it. It was me! This was the place my family lived after my father became a drunk and kicked me, my mother, my grandmother, and my two little siblings out of the house in a drunken rage. Then he refused to let us back in because he was too ashamed of his actions to face us again. I hated him for that. I listened in on the conversation. One of my siblings hugged against my grandmother, "Grandma, when can we go home?" The old weasel sighed and shook her head, "I don't think we can dear." My mother threw some more sticks onto the fire, sitting down and sighed, "If that bastard would have just let us back in, we wouldn't be in this mess." My grandmother hurried and covered the younger children's ears, "How could you use such foul language in front of the children!" My mother than shot her head up, snapping, "WELL IT IS ABOUT DAMN TIME THEY LEARNED!" She then began crying, putting her head on her arms.

My siblings ran to her hugging her. The younger me sat down next to my grandmother, looking up at her through sad eyes, "Grandma? Will we be able to celebrate Christmas this year?" She hugged the younger me, "No dear, not in these times." My lip quivered and I turned to the ghost, who was wiping a tear, "Now you see, this is why I HATE Christmas, it was the day that our father kicked us out and the day I gave up hope in joy!" I buried my head in my arms and sighed, "And this memory is making me hate it even more!" I went to punch the ghost, but my hand shot straight through, and I hit the cold. The ghost shook his head, "You have not learned your lesson then…alrightly then, maybe the ghost of Christmas Present my straighten you out." He took some of his dust and looked at me with a smile, "Tootle Loo!" He threw the dust in my face and I blacked out

I woke up back in my chair, yawning. "Hey *Hack* it was just a *Cough, Cough* Dream!" I realized I had four cigarettes in my mouth, just the way I liked it. Suddenly I heard something through the back door, grabbing my gun. I pushed the door open with the barrel of the gun. I took a quick look and saw a glowing figure, dressed in all green. "Greasy?" The ghost looked at me, "I am de Ghost of Christmas Present, and I've been waiting for jou." I rolled me eyes, "*Sigh, Cough* this night is not gonna end is it?" The ghost shook his head, "It might seem that way until jou realize what we have been trying to tell you." I threw my cigarette into the snow and sighed, "I'll come with you *Hack* but I don't want that time dust shit in my face, you hear?" The ghost smirked, "Whatever jou say amigo…" He held out his robe and smiled. I sighed, coughing slightly and grabbed it. Suddenly my body became as transparent as the ghost. He looked at me, "First we will take a look at those you have harmed personally." We walked by the window, into Stupid's room.

The ghost nodded to the window, urging me to put my face to the glass. I looked into the room and looked at Stupid. There were pictures of Santa, Christmas trees, snowmen and gingerbread men cut up with scissors. The side of the bed was stained with tears and the big lug was underneath the covers, still sobbing. I felt bad deeply, turning to the ghost. "I understand the crying for what I did, but the pictures?" The ghost shrugged, "Jou seemed to have broken his Christmas spirit when jou burnt that stocking he made for jou." I shook my head, "He needs to grow up! He is a damn four year old in an adult's body!" The ghosts shrugged, "Let's move on then, shall we?" We came over to another window, Phsyco's room. I looked in and saw a dart shoot by. I landed on a dart board with a picture of me on it. Physco looked relatively angry for him. I turned to the ghost, who was looking in an odd magazine, "What's wrong with Physco?" He put the magazine away, "He is angry at jou for destroying de one thing that means most to his sanity, his connections with his fellow weasels."

After hearing this, I looked down, "I get the point, and I've had enough of this torment, show me no more!" The ghost shook his head, "We have one more place to go." I got down on my knees, "You have shown me enough, I won't see anymore, you can't make me!" The ghost grabbed me by the neck and pulled me up in the air, "JOU WILL WATCH AND LEARN, AND LIKE IT!" We floated over the roof tops, heading towards the forest. He tossed me into a side of a tree; I bounced off of it and slammed into another, all the way down until I hit the snow. It had begun snowing harshly. I got up and shook off some snow from my muzzle. I looked up saw the ghost, shaking his head. "Jou selfish chain smoker, see what jour work has caused!" He nodded his head in the direction of a Toon.

It was Smart Ass; he was trying to pull a large tree in the freezing cold, all by himself. I took a second to take this scene in and suddenly it hit me! I left him to die out here when I bailed from helping him with the tree. This was my fault and if he died, it would be on me! "Ghost, please, enough, let me return so I can help him, he will die if I don't help him!" The ghost shook his head, "Dis is on jou Wheezy, because jou were too hatred of Christmas. Now De Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come will visit jou, and I warn jou, he is not as forgiving as I am!" He grabbed me by the head and slammed me into the snow. I got up and the woods had disappeared. I shivered, now in this white wasteland of snow. I called out, "Ghost? Hello...….anyone?" Suddenly there was giggling, similar to Psycho's. I heard it again and swung my head, seeing a figure standing in the snow. It pointed to me and I heard giggling. I got up, walking to the figure. "You must be the Ghost of Christmas Future….." The ghost nodded slowly, I heard the giggle again, "Alright, let's get to it….." The ghost took his hood off and revealed Psycho, who made me stare into his swirling eyes. Suddenly, we were in the back of the house.

I quickly ran inside and saw what happened. Most of the gang was sitting in the house. Stupid's fur had turned as blue as mine and he had four or five cigarettes in his mouth. He coughed and took his bat, slamming it into Psycho, who was just passing by. Suddenly they got into a fight. I was shocked; they used to be best friends, and now they were at each other's throat. Neither I nor Smart Ass was there. Greasy had seemed to take over, but he was in his room with 5 Toon chicks. The hooded ghost appeared next to me, giggling. I turned to it, frightened at what I just saw, "Is this what happens? Did I cause this?" The ghost nodded, and pointed. As I turned around, I noticed that the scenery had changed. The new background was back in the forest, the snow had stopped. The tree was still there. I gasped at what I saw, Smart Ass was frozen solid. He wasn't dead necessarily, but he seemed to be dying. I shook, realizing that this was my fault and if he died, it would be on my hands. I looked to the ghost, shivering. "I can't take this anymore! Please, let me go, I can change, I will fix everything! PLEASE!"

I got down on my knees, tears pouring from my eyes, "JUST GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE! PLEASE, I'LL CHANGE, YOU HEAR ME, I'LL CHANGE!" I woke up, hugging my easy chair. I felt my Toon body, "I'm alive…YES!" I hurried and ran right into Greasy, who was coming out of the hall with an indecent magazine, "How long have I been asleep?" Greasy, looking confused at my sudden burst of happiness, "Err…Jou have only been out for ten minutes….are Jou feeling alright?" I barely answered him as I sped into Stupid's room. He was sitting on his bed, sobbing into his hands. I smiled, pulling a random sock from nowhere. I handed it to him. He smiled, and hugged me. I was a bit surprised at first, but I patted him on the back to show that there were no harsh feelings.

As I walked out the front door, I was Smart Ass and Greasy pulling the tree in through the door. "Wait, what the hell? The ghost said…..oh those damn ghosts!" I sat in my chair and stuck a cigarette in my jaws, "Making me think that I was actually doing something good, I HATE good." Psycho came up to me, smiling and hugging me, in his high pitched voice, "God bless us, everyone!"

(Out of POV's)

The weasels began singing "Deck the Halls" as they decorated the tree and the three ghosts shot over the house, becoming on big shining star in the sky.

**Merry Christmas from SunGlassWolf13**


End file.
